


Dance With Me Tonight

by takiko



Series: Training, dancing, angsting, loving through 3B, Malec Edition [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Memories, Dancing, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Episode Related, Episode: s03e16 Stay With Me, Established Relationship, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-3A Magnus, Sleepy Alec Lightwood, Tired Alec Lightwood, Worried Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 20:28:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21584854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takiko/pseuds/takiko
Summary: If there was one thing Alexander Lightwood was pretty sure about himself, was that he is an unquestionably awful dancer. There were many embarrassing incidents in his past to prove it. But what if the only thing, that can put an honest smile on an unhappy, magicless Magnus’ face is that he can do something he really, really loves? With someone whom he really, really loves? But what is that someone is the worst dancer in the whole world?
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Training, dancing, angsting, loving through 3B, Malec Edition [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1315142
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Dance With Me Tonight

_He was in the loft. It appeared to be late afternoon, sunlight pouring in from the windows, enveloping everything from floor to ceiling in a golden light._

_It was so picture-perfect, he knew right away it can’t be reality. The dreams he usually had were much darker, like it was his fate to battle demons even in the sanctuary of his thoughts. This time it was different though._

_He was dancing._

_His body felt light like a feather, almost as if he could fly off the ground any time he wanted. Confusion overwhelmed him for a second, because he never learned how to dance properly, but the thought went away as quickly as it came. In this pastel-colored dream, there were no worries and no troubling things to muse on. He could dance, and it was the most natural thing in the world, just as the reassuring presence of the body in his arms._

_Magnus._

_He was dancing with Magnus. And his man was smiling._

_It was a bright, worry-free grin, one that Alec hadn’t had a chance to see since for what seemed like forever. His perfectly shaped, lean body fitted against his as they moved together in unison._

_“Make me swirl, Alexander!”_

_Alec did. His magical boyfriend made an elegant spin, then threw his head back and laughed with a sound of total happiness._

_Alec wanted to kiss him._

_And since he didn’t have a reason to be shy in a dream, he started to lean close and…_

…almost fell out of his chair, as an inpatient, loud knocking sound penetrated his muzzled mind. His head snapped up from where it was resting on an unfinished and now unreadably crinkled report, his neck immediately protesting at the sudden movement. Alec Lightwood, Head of the New York Institute, looked around in his office with growing dread.

By the Angel! Did he fell asleep at his desk? 

The knocking continued, and Alec very seriously wanted to strangle whoever was on the other side of that door. That person didn’t know yet but facing Alec Lightwood before he had his morning coffee (even if it was already almost noon, he JUST woke up, fuck you very much!) was nothing sort of a heroic deed. 

Only after he sent away the startled looking young Shadowhunter, dropped the received report aside and dragged his hands through his already messy hair, that he was starting to feel guilty for being so short with a colleague. The poor man only tried to do his job, while he, the boss slept half the day away in the secure silence of his office. It was only half-past eleven, but Alec already felt his eyelids drooping from exhaustion. No matter how much he tried to concentrate, it was in vain; his thoughts wandered back to Magnus every few minutes. He couldn’t help it. 

His boyfriend was a mundane for almost a month now, and his progress of trying to come to terms with this undeniable fact was painful and tiring not just for him, but Alec as well. Surprisingly it also brought them impossibly closer. 

Alec sometimes felt like he was balancing on a very tiny edge between hope and desperation, doing everything in his power to be there for Magnus, and at the same time trying not to appear like he was watching his every move like he is only waiting for him to fall. He was thankful that the other man kept his word, and didn’t try to push him away, not even when he suffered inside.

And oh, he suffered a lot!

No matter how strong Magnus was…

You can’t have getting your whole world ripped apart and be okay with it after a few days.

He had frequent nightmares, which upset both of them so much, they couldn’t fall back asleep afterward, so Alec usually got up, made two mugs of hot tea, then they settled on the couch in each other’s arms, talking the rest of the night away. The dawn usually found them snuggled together, sporting an aching neck or cramped up leg, promising never again to spend a night outside their comfortable bed. 

Then the next nightmare happened, and the whole process repeated. 

Alec didn’t mind. He wanted to be there for Magnus, craved to be the comfort the other so desperately needed. Sadly, it also left him incredibly exhausted. Balancing between his highly demanding job as the HOTI and being a shoulder for Magnus to lean on whenever he needed was great responsibility. He felt grateful for both, but some days – like today – his body warned him, that it was enough.  
Shaking his head, he leaned over the table and tried to make some sense out of the report, but after a few minutes, he caught himself thinking about Magnus again. The dream he had during his little nap was still floating around his mind, the image of a smiling Magnus stuck inside his brain.

It was a rare sight these days; Magnus being carefree. Him being genuinely happy. That laugh he made when he was swirling in his arms. 

By the Angel, why did he even dream about dancing? 

Magnus was, of course, a very accomplished dancer. That was a given. He owned a whole night club for Raziel’s sake! Alec learned a lot from him about many different things but moving elegantly at the rhythm of any music was a talent the angels didn’t bother to gift him with. 

Okay, who was he kidding? 

Dancing was a sore topic, something Alec tried to avoid to even talk about. It always brought up unpleasant memories. No matter how much effort Magnus put into persuading him, he always found some excuse to avoid dancing with him and his boyfriend – probably sensing that there was more behind Alec’s reluctance than just being shy –, left it alone after a while. 

Thank God! – Alec thought – until today.

What if he could put a real smile on Magnus’ face, just like in the dream? Magnus loves dancing. Ever since he lost his magic, and with it the ability to create portals, they hadn’t had a romantic date outside the loft, did they? Neither was in the mood to party. But what if Magnus missed it? Doing something that he always loved to do is maybe the way to help him find his way back to his old self. They don’t even need to leave the loft. It was a perfect location in the dream too, wasn’t it? And Magnus won’t be at home until about two. Perfect!

With a frantic gleam in his eyes, Alec stood up so quickly that his chair almost tipped over. 

Enough of this unproductive nonsense! The boss will be taking a day off!

010101010101010101  
_  
He remembered his first and last public dancing vividly and with a dread that didn’t lessen in intensity over the last eleven years. It was an incident quite famous inside Institute circles, but one that thankfully no one dared to mention while being in his or especially Jace’s close vicinity (his parabatai being fiercely protective). Luckily even his mother became tight-lipped whenever someone was brave enough to bring it up, hiding her shame and disappointment of his son’s major screw-up behind angry glances._

_Alec was seventeen at the time it happened, a lanky-framed, sulking young adult, fighting against ever-growing feelings towards his parabatai and struggling to be the perfect son for his parents. He was always dreadfully anxious about doing anything in front of a big crowd or act as a spokesman to speak his mind when many were watching. He was also a little bit of an introvert, which of course contrary to popular belief didn’t mean he hated people in general. He believed himself to be powerful in his own right, warm towards those who deserved it, interested not just in their problems, but also sharing their happiness. Of course, he was also quite vocal about his disdain toward the idiots he crossed path with, but who could blame him for that? The frustration he felt often transformed into bitter saltiness, and his straightforwardness sometimes made others think he’s kind of a jerk, resulting in a rapidly decreasing number of friends over the years to a point, where his only remaining confidantes were his siblings. Not that there were so many children of their age around at the Institute most of the time, except for a few special occasions, like that stupid ball, that made him banish even the word of “dance” from his mind for what he hoped an eternity._

_He couldn’t quite remember anymore why that event was so damn important. If he strained his memories, he could recall speeches about preserving dignity to the Lightwood family-name, and him being the first-born had also had something to do with it. So just the usual, boring ideas. But until that point being the eldest never required him to do public dancing with a GIRL, who also happened to be the eldest child of an equally famous Shadowhunter-family, the Oakfields. It was just another stupid gathering with Clave representatives, and his only duty should have been to bring this girl to the dance floor, make a few swirls with her until everyone else joined them._

_But Alec, being the person that he was at that time, dreaded that few moments in the spotlight more than a bloody fight against a hundred demons._

_He tried to get out of it by brooding, raising his voice (which he NEVER did with his parents), begging for mercy like a child, and even letting himself knocked on the head during practice (faking injury being Jace’s brilliant idea), but Maryse couldn’t be deterred. The result wasn’t only a painful bump on his forehead that an iratze took care of almost immediately, but also the most boring lecture about his responsibilities as the oldest child that he already heard a hundred times before._

_When it became apparent, he has no chance to escape, his siblings immediately came to his rescue. Jace tried to calm him with phrases like “Just act cool and be done with it,” while Izzy did her best to teach him a few elegant moves, failing at it spectacularly._

_Not that Alec was THAT clumsy._

_But his whole being was just repulsed by the idea of this public humiliation, not to mention the fact, that this was the first time when he could see his future laid out before him plainly and painfully clear.  
For now, it’s just a dance. But in a few years… _

_There’s going to be another speech about even bigger responsibilities…_

_In a few years, he won’t just need to be a dance partner to a girl, but a fateful husband, too._

_Not because he wants to, but because that’s what his parents and the world around him needs him to do._

_All the expectations will trample the flickering hope of a different, happy future. And he will bend under them because he is a good son. That’s what he is. Alec Lightwood: the good son, the perfect Shadowhunter._

_So, at that fateful night, he was standing there in a formal, uncomfortable suit, a painfully fake smile on his face, eyes fixed on his soon to be partner bouncing towards him in a pink, floaty dress.  
The girl was a blue-eyed beauty with delicate features and a kind of natural grace that had most of the boys their age instantly swooning as they saw her, but of course, for Alec, she had no romantic appeal whatsoever. His teenage hormones were raging just as wildly as anyone else’s, only not for her. He saw Jace waving encouragingly at him from the side, and felt his face heating up. His partner, Linda, bless her innocent soul, smiled at him brightly and reached out her arm which Alec grabbed with nervous, clammy fingers. _

_Inwardly fighting the growing dread in his guts, he led her out onto the brightly lit dance field, her small hand almost completely swallowed by his big palm, his skin already calloused from spending endless hours in archery practice._

_Oh, how he wished he could be back in training right now!_

_Fixing his gaze stubbornly onto the ground which seemed weirdly far away, he put one of his hands on his partner’s waist, and closed his eyes for a moment, wishing for the world to stop spinning. He could hardly hear the music starting from the loud buzzing in his ears, and his vision was also awfully blurry, so he could only make out a pink blob in front of him when he made the first step and put his foot out before him with a strong, nervous energy._

_The sound of a bone cracking that followed that first move was almost completely swallowed by music and the murmur of so many people in one space, but the pained scream that accompanied it wasn’t something anyone could ignore. Alec stared dumbfounded as the slender figure of Linda Oakfield collapsed before him in a sobbing heap, nursing her delicate foot, which was (as Alec later found out) broken in three different places._

_He didn’t have a good recollection of what transpired in the ballroom after that. He vaguely remembered being pushed to the side, then the feeling of sweaty hands (Jace) grabbing his arms, leading him away to a dark corner of the Institute, where he could hide from his mother’s wrath._

_Maryse, of course, was completely beside herself with anger, but Alec endured the storm with stone-faced dignity, especially after seeing his father trying to hide a smirk under his nose behind his wife’s back, marking that moment probably the only time when Alec felt some sort of camaraderie with Robert._

_Since the Bonecracker-dance (as everyone called it) was such a huge shame for the Lightwoods, Maryse never mentioned it again, and luckily for Alec never tried to organize another event that required any dancing abilities from her son. Alec for his part, tried to forget the whole thing and ignore the mocking smirks he got from other Shadowhunters, while his most important task in future public gatherings was to avoid any member of the Oakfield family.  
_

010101010101010010101

The loft was just as empty as he suspected, the only occupant at home being none other than Chairman Meow, currently slumbering in one of Magnus’ ridiculously expensive antique armchairs, not even bothering to look up at the sound of the door opening.

Being here made Alec’s heart start to throb in excitement. Now that he was at the same place as in the dream, he could almost see it again in his mind; the pair of them swirling around in the middle of the living room, smiling, being happy, being in love, with no worries in the world. 

Looking at the clock and realizing he didn’t have much time to waste if he wants to make it happen, Alec took a deep breath, and got to work. 

Grabbing his stele and activating his strength rune, he started to rearrange the room in the exact same manner as he remembered it from the dream. Soon the coffee table and the big couch were lined up along the far wall, then the fancy, stuffed armchair followed, causing it’s sleeping inhabitant to hiss at him for disturbing his afternoon nap. Alec gently patted the Chairman, got a scratch in return, then continued with his task. After a good fifteen minutes, he was standing with sweating forehead in the middle of a huge empty space, looking around to inspect his handiwork. 

Satisfaction slowly dying, anxiety started to creep into his soul, infecting his thoughts with doubts and bad memories from the past. 

His expression crumpled. 

What was he even doing? Did he really think, Magnus is going to be happy to find his whole place turned upside down because Alec fucking Lightwood had a good dream for once? 

The sunbeams shining through the windows suddenly felt more obtrusive than friendly. Alec shielded his eyes and stumbled with clumsy moves to the sofa in the corner, collapsing on it unceremoniously. He found his hands slightly trembling, so he squeezed them into angry fists, although it wasn’t anger that consumed his soul so quickly. It was sadness. Or bewilderment, really. He didn’t realize how desperate he felt after the whole mess Asmodeus caused. Being constantly aware of Magnus’ silent suffering was pure torture, and he wanted to stop it but… to count on a stupid dream for guidance?  
By the Angel, what an idiotic idea this was!

Alec let his body fall back against the soft cushions, startling when a small furball suddenly landed on his lap, purring loudly. Count on the Chairman to come for cuddles after that hissy fit a few minutes earlier.

Burying his fingers into the tender fur softly, he tried to relax, letting eyelids slipping shut slowly. Even after that brief nap in the office, he felt tired, but sleeping was out of the question. He kind of didn’t want to turn back now. Dream-Magnus’ smile was something he was unable to banish from his mind. He wanted to see it again, this time for real.

So, what if he screws up? Magnus will most definitely won’t be pissed at him, more like amused and maybe exasperated. He may also like the idea of dancing. Ha may be delighted. Until he finds out Alec’s complete lack of skills in this particular area. Not to mention the risk of danger he creates towards any feet within stepping distance, when he tries to dance. 

The tabby in his lap, maybe sensing his troubling thoughts, gave a disapproving little meow and started fidgeting, softly kneading the material of his trousers like some finicky primadonna. When he found the perfect position for a nap, curled up into a perfect little ball, then looked up at him with an almost questioning glare as if asking: How dare you stop patting me, human? 

Alec couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped from his mouth, but obediently started stroking it’s silky fur until his head slowly lolled to the side, and his breathing evened out into a slow, deep pattern of those, who are falling asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> SO! After I saw THE DANCE in 3x16, I instantly realized, I just have to write a fic, where it wasn't just a dream, but actually happened. And although this is about the dance, it isn't exatly canon, more of a continuation of my other fics about 3B, where Magnus lost his magic, but didn't get it back after one week. He struggles and Alec is struggling, too, for he want wants to help him in some way. This fic is about their feelings. Their struggles. But most importantly about their love for each other.
> 
> First chapter is from Alec's POV, the second will be Magnus'. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it :)


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